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Pet Grief
By Talley Brown
Stockings Chandler Brown died on July 4, 2000. It
was just like her to go out with a bang. Although my family has loved and grieved for many
loved ones over the years, nothing could have prepared us for the loss of my sister’s
furry appendage.
We were fortunate during our death preparation and mourning, however. We had Lorelei.
She communicated and compromised with Stockings during those last days of her life.
Lorelei made Sox’s passing easier on her and on us. Although two years later, the
tears are still gushing as I try to write this article.
Lorelei, too, has had her share of pet grief. She
has dealt with the loss of her own, as well as guided others through the abyss of pet
grief. So, now we two are off to develop a workshop to let animal lovers know that they
are not alone in their grief. There are many ways to deal with pet grief.
Writing about your pet is a wonderful way to express your feelings and immortalize your
pet at the same time. Write "about every de  tail of the days before, on,
and after [her] death, over and over again… Writing [will help you] to remove those
painful feelings and to resolve much turmoil and confusion associated with…
death." (Stuparyk, 1998)Share your feelings with others. Via internet (or friends)
you will find there are plenty of helpful organizations and books regarding pet grief.
Visit Lorelei’s website or petloss.com. There is plenty of "practical advice
[out there] on recovery, emphasizing daily self-care, support systems and homeopathic
remedies." (Walker, 1999) Walker also reminds us that our other pets grieve our loss
with us. Recognize your surviving family’s grief, and share it with them. "If we
have truly loved and lost a friend, then we have broken through the barrier of death and
our love travels with that friend in the journey to other realms." (Walker, 1999)
Now, there are also books (and spiritual leaders) who are seriously looking at
scripture and "validating" the fact that "beloved animals who have died are
now with Jesus." (Buddemyer-Porter, 1995) How could it be heaven, anyway, if my
critters were not there to greet me?
And, of course, learn from your animals. Most animals are not afraid to die. (Sox was
not afraid to die, she was just too stubborn to go quietly.) "The end of life can be
faced without fear… Animals, who always seem to live closest to the marrow of
existence, can teach us to accept death as an opening for love and wonder."
(Kowalski, 2001) Open yourself up to that experience of your dog saying goodbye just
before he dies. Accept that vision of your cat running free and happy at the moment her
heart stops beating. Let the animals teach you.
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